tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55952117118127706262024-02-20T09:23:09.382-08:00The Long GoodbyeMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11963603930272249340noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5595211711812770626.post-24437861955315311692012-05-17T11:22:00.000-07:002012-05-17T11:30:57.335-07:00Interviews With My Self: Episode 6<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_657750243" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm8ha4bHbXULhh-cBwUgSJ1hGMofW5zVqohMsEOn9dqUC56-ahUggd5Eft6-oVPhNYLlAZfHuz6jYFHAqLH4yn5WZw_gXQrJjegQLY1FOaiFAk3L7-HVkTXJKo5PiwbUF5BeNFBH7UGtQ/s320/Slide1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
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<a href="http://dl.dropbox.com/u/75517012/Interview%20With%20My%20Self%20Episode%206.mp3">Episode 6: The Evasive Bluebird of Happiness</a></h2>
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In this podcast episode, My Self discovers the evasive nature of happiness for a caregiver and someone afflicted
with Early Onset of
Alzheimer's. Mr. Caregiver explains that despite his best efforts he can not guarantee the happiness of his wife nor himself. Yet, despite the obvious struggles to bring happiness into her life he continues to find joy in the simple, everyday experiences. Come discover the range of emotions that caregiver and the afflicted can go through when walking the Long Goodbye of Alzheimer's. This podcast
lasts approx 20 minutes and will
help provide insights into a disease that affects over 5.5 million
Americans today and is growing exponentially every year.<br />
<br />
If you want to help consider donating to the <a href="http://www.alzfdn.org/" target="_blank">Alzheimer's Association</a>
or join a Memory Walk in your area. There are also many volunteer
opportunities with the Alzheimer's Association or a local chapter. Give
today... before you forget.Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11963603930272249340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5595211711812770626.post-9424322059948286282012-05-03T12:50:00.000-07:002012-05-04T08:14:58.793-07:00Interviews With My Self: Episode 5: Dancing at the Bars<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://dl.dropbox.com/u/75517012/Interviews%20With%20My%20Self%20Episode%205.mp3" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghnRLZc9ggcQA9T3aoI8cTOtw3i8zpcEJQSWdPMBY7x91wJ4AG6CqWYtsFHMVtY8Y3BoUoRER5gPE9r6NFZFFBFtnk9edOIukl8HIlbbgokGigGBmV5aKuF9c90l3wV6UmpFaZuaOAsd4/s320/Slide1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
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Dancing at the Bars: Movement and My Beloved</h2>
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In this podcast episode, My Self discovers the connection between dance, movement, and a positive bond between caregiver and someone afflicted with Early Onset of
Alzheimer's. Mr. Caregiver explains that motivated by watching his wife's positive response to Ellen Degeneres and her dance segments he decides to take his wife dancing. Come discover what happens when Mr.
Caregiver and his wife go "Dancing at the Bars." This podcast
lasts approx 20 minutes and will
help provide insights into a disease that affects over 5.5 million
Americans today and is growing exponentially every year.<br />
<br />
If you want to help consider donating to the <a href="http://www.alzfdn.org/" target="_blank">Alzheimer's Association</a>
or join a Memory Walk in your area. There are also many volunteer
opportunities with the Alzheimer's Association or a local chapter. Give
today... before you forget.Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11963603930272249340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5595211711812770626.post-81491730140498838032012-04-25T14:59:00.002-07:002012-04-26T12:54:20.187-07:00Interveiws With My Self: Episode 4<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://dl.dropbox.com/u/75517012/Interviews%20With%20My%20Self%20Episone%204.mp3" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrEoeOrkB3nAET0b11LNN-eL-Vg0VfawAonybsPHnZujMBbyHjvoWfsYMoz9QuMY2HdCKfjZm5ozrW6r2HFd43pyrPG4cg87xwA6VS-pogcsnXXFcVKkkE65U8zxmWGqUtnP5qm_847ms/s320/Slide1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
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The Light amongst the Darkness</h2>
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In this podcast episode, My Self discovers that despite the despair and loneliness that can accompany Early Onset of Alzheimer's Mr. Caregiver and his wife can still experience many joys, and rainbows behind the clouds. Come discover the uplifting side of Mr. Caregiver as he walks the Long Goodbye with his Beloved. This podcast lasts approx 21 minutes and will
help provide insights into a disease that affects over 5.5 million
Americans today and is growing exponentially every year.<br />
<br />
If you want to help consider donating to the <a href="http://www.alzfdn.org/" target="_blank">Alzheimer's Association</a>
or join a Memory Walk in your area. There are also many volunteer
opportunities with the Alzheimer's Association or a local chapter. Give
today... before you forget.Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11963603930272249340noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5595211711812770626.post-73549639147992592312012-04-24T14:03:00.002-07:002012-04-24T14:09:32.303-07:00Interviews With My Self: Insights into Alzheimer's Episode 3<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://dl.dropbox.com/u/75517012/Interviews%20With%20My%20Self%20Episode%203.mp3" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPwTH4Uw0eSAeQjEbnUxoJPDB1F8GFxJQPMfqUw1iCGBUpc519E3l12AUcIGnds83I2W0VQN9h7-2rxSUnDpxqHbgWT7R6dyUH-TfJEuidHlo9pWlh4PaK33zOLrEcE1dwB3flHzF71Y8/s320/Slide1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
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Episode 3: Loneliness and Isolation</h2>
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In this podcast episode, My Self discovers the loneliness and isolation of Mr. Caregiver and his wife due to the diagnosis of Early Onset
of Alzheimer's. This podcast lasts approx 20 minutes and will
help provide insights into a disease that affects over 5.5 million
Americans today and is growing exponentially every year.<br />
<br />
If you want to help consider donating to the <a href="http://www.alzfdn.org/" target="_blank">Alzheimer's Association</a> or join a Memory Walk in your area. There are also many volunteer opportunities with the Alzheimer's Association or a local chapter. Give today... before you forget.Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11963603930272249340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5595211711812770626.post-81924571660989477482012-04-24T13:04:00.002-07:002012-04-24T14:09:00.336-07:00Interviews With My Self: Insights into Alzheimer's Episode 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://dl.dropbox.com/u/75517012/Interviews%20with%20Myself%20Episode%202.mp3" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrEoeOrkB3nAET0b11LNN-eL-Vg0VfawAonybsPHnZujMBbyHjvoWfsYMoz9QuMY2HdCKfjZm5ozrW6r2HFd43pyrPG4cg87xwA6VS-pogcsnXXFcVKkkE65U8zxmWGqUtnP5qm_847ms/s320/Slide1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
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Episode 2: Reactions </h2>
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In this podcast episode, My Self discovers the reactions and early struggles of Mr. Caregiver and his wife to the diagnosis of Early Onset of Alzheimer's. This podcast lasts approx 20 minutes and will
help provide insights into a disease that affects over 5.5 million
Americans today and is growing exponentially every year.<br />
<br />
If you want to help consider donating to the <a href="http://www.alzfdn.org/" target="_blank">Alzheimer's Association</a> or
join a Memory Walk in your area. There are also many volunteer
opportunities with the Alzheimer's Association or a local chapter. Give
today... before you forget. Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11963603930272249340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5595211711812770626.post-77412764074597026802012-04-24T12:56:00.000-07:002012-04-24T14:08:36.528-07:00Interviews With My Self: Insights Into Alzheimers and Caregiving Episode 1<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://dl.dropbox.com/u/75517012/Interviews%20With%20Myself%20Episode1.mp3" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrEoeOrkB3nAET0b11LNN-eL-Vg0VfawAonybsPHnZujMBbyHjvoWfsYMoz9QuMY2HdCKfjZm5ozrW6r2HFd43pyrPG4cg87xwA6VS-pogcsnXXFcVKkkE65U8zxmWGqUtnP5qm_847ms/s320/Slide1.jpg" title="" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
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Introduction and The Diagnosis</h2>
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<br />
In this podcast episode My Self discovers the early signs and diagnosis of Mr. Caregiver's wife. This podcast lasts approx 20 minutes and will help provide insights into a disease that affects over 5.5 million Americans today and is growing exponentially every year.<br />
<br />
If you want to help consider donating to the <a href="http://www.alzfdn.org/" target="_blank">Alzheimer's Association</a> or
join a Memory Walk in your area. There are also many volunteer
opportunities with the Alzheimer's Association or a local chapter. Give
today... before you forget. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://dl.dropbox.com/u/75517012/Interviews%20With%20Myself%20Episode1.mp3" target="_blank"></a><br />
<br />
<br />Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11963603930272249340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5595211711812770626.post-91355666255294781202011-06-09T20:49:00.000-07:002011-06-09T20:49:44.893-07:00Check Your Attitude<style>
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<div class="MsoBodyText">“Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes.”</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 20pt;">-William James</span></i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 18pt;"></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal">Everybody has an attitude. Some brandish it like a weapon ready to wage battle with those of opposing attitudes or wills. Others may have a multitude of attitudes that can be switched at will depending on the situation at hand or the population being faced… thus the saying “Check your attitude at the door.” I don’t believe “attitude” is necessarily negative or bad or destructive, as when someone might say, “Watch out for someone he/she has an attitude.” To me this quote simply refers to our outlook on life. </div><div class="MsoNormal">For me I do have to be constantly checking my attitude, examining my emotional barometer and adjusting my outlook on life. I’ve been accused of being too optimistic, happy, or positive. Quotes like, “Aren’t you the little Miss Sunshine today.” Or “God who gave him the happy pill today.” Or simply, “Cheer up already!” (with a heavy dose of sarcasm). As if I may not have a firm grip on reality, who the hell really does? Yeah I know life can suck big time, and it just plain aint not fair. Life and those who live it can delight in kicking ya when you are down and know just… where … to … place that kick to wreak the most havoc. I’ve had to haul my ass out of the deepest pit of depression one claw at a time. I’ve survived suicide, and found that drugs don’t take the pain away just deaden the nerves. It aint pretty and I don’t deserve any awards or praise. We all have to face our demons and must do it in our own way.</div><div class="MsoNormal">But I can not afford to slip down that slippery slope again, it is much, much too easy to start with a pity party and end up alone at the bottom of a deep dark pit. I have to FACE the obstacles and all the chit life throws my way. The other day my love and I went for a walk, I had set the lock on the door but was still looking for my key when I stepped out to look at something she had pointed out. Before I knew it the door was shut with my only keys indoors. I know… where’s the spare key dummy. I knew my wife would panic if she knew the situation, there was a time this would have sent me in a tailspin of anger, frustration, rage, and then escape. But I can not afford to harbor such an attitude now. I knew that our neighbor sharing the other duplex might be able to let us into her side and there was a solution. Rather than mention the dilemma we simply continued on our walk, stayed out an about until I was fairly certain our neighbor was home and headed back.<span> </span>All was well, crisis averted, and we managed a wonderful evening out and about town. The altering influence was my attitude.</div><div class="MsoNormal">So how often do you have to “check your attitude? How often do you judge others according to their attitude. I wish you a most excellent day that will not challenge your attitude too much. Enjoy the gift of the day.</div>Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11963603930272249340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5595211711812770626.post-13049454632498767982011-06-08T09:03:00.001-07:002011-06-08T09:03:27.754-07:00Smooth Seas...<style>
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Gadget; font-size: 24pt;">“Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.”</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 20pt;">-African Proverb</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal">She awoke at 5 AM with terror in her eyes. Dawn was beginning to push the first light into the shuttered room. Panic raced her heart. Gazing around the dimly lit room her mind, still groggy from sleep, struggled to comprehend her surroundings. “Where?.... What the? … How did?... Why?” Too many questions crowded her mind and refused to solidify, surface through the muck of her utter confusion. She lay there, her breathing ragged, eyes darting everywhere desperate to recognize something. Where in the hell was she? Why couldn’t she remember how she got there? Sitting up on her elbows she turned to look at the man sleeping next to her. He stirred, turned to look at her and smiled. “Good morning my love.”</div><div class="MsoNormal">What is it that draws me out from a deep sleep on mornings like this when my love is fighting through her panic attacks? Can I somehow sense her panic? Feel the fear radiating from every pore of her body? This is the toll to be paid for the awesome time we often have when travelling to visit family and friends. During this particular trip we had such an awesome time the day before, visiting her sister, leisurely strolling through the King Tut Exhibit, imagining ourselves back in time with the <span>Egyptian pharaohs, sipping cold drinks while the city sweltered around us. </span><span> </span>I dread going to bed in a strange room, waiting for the mixed results after sleep has reset her brain. What will this damn disease erase, how will it reconfigure her memories? Then there is the dread, will she even remember me in the morning?</div><div class="MsoNormal">The day before on this particular trip, when she awoke, all was fine, there was no blank, terrified stare and the child-like frightened voice that kept whispering… ”Where AM I? Why don’t I remember how we got here?” It is always a crap shoot what the morning will bring when we travel. Oh dear sweet Creator I know that these trials and heartbreaks are part of life and will make me a stronger person but how many times can I repair this vessel? I am bailing as fast as these little ol arms can. A few storms will build my skills but how many hurricanes must I endure?</div><div class="MsoNormal">But then I chastise myself, “Quit your whining you wimp! Do you think you are the only one sailing on these seas? Grab the tiller, hoist that sail, full steam ahead. You’ve still got a passenger and your all she’s got… and visa versa.” So I swallow my own terror, frustration, and grief… paste on a smile and begin to slowly draw my beloved out of the dark pit of despair that often accompanies her confusion. Once it took me four hours to calm her when we were staying at our daughter’s house. I just have to remind myself it is worth it so she can be with those relatives and friends who can still elicit such joy and trigger deep rooted, fond memories. To hear her laugh, see her beam, sit back and listen to fragments of conversation that remind me of my beloved that I fell in love with those many years ago. Those are the smooth seas, the calm before the storm where I can rest and rejuvenate, readying for the next patch of rough seas ahead.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Wishing you smooth sailing this day and the skills and company to get you safely through those rough patches of water. Sail on!</div>Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11963603930272249340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5595211711812770626.post-12998489480148661192011-04-27T07:33:00.000-07:002011-04-27T07:33:00.191-07:00Birth of a New DayTo those few new, brave followers who have come over to give me a look see thank you and I dedicate this entry to you. It can be tough to wake up every day as a caregiver for a loved one and maintain a positive attitude. Yet I truly believe the BIG A makes all the difference in how we approach life and how life approaches us. I can NOT afford to remain positive and hopeful about my day. My job is a demanding one that requires daily interactions with many people who will be reading and reacting to my mental state. Yes, I weep at my loss and rage against a world that seems so cruel and unfair at times. Yet in the end I must draw strength from my Creator and the gifts offered to me in each new day. And so I offer up this muse and observation in the hopes that you too will find joy and hope in this new day, despite whatever trials and challenges life throws your way. Thanks for stopping by. Enjoy!<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">In the quiet pre-dawn light I emerge from my home to journey to work. I’ve decided to hoof it today; the 45-minute trek is such a relaxing, and soothing way to begin a hectic day. It is a luxury I rarely partake in these days as it leaves me a distance from my beloved if she should be in need. Plus I need to come home for lunch now to insure she will eat. Therefore, today I will walk both ways and pray all will be well at home. The streets are mostly deserted with the exception of some early risers taking their canine companions out for a stroll. A jogger bounces past being led by an energetic chocolate lab obviously enjoying the morning scents and sights. An elderly woman stops while her dog, that resembles a dust mop more than a dog, stops to carefully select a spot on a neighborhood lawn to fertilize. After the deposit is made the woman removes a plastic bag from her pocket and with gloved hands gingerly cleans up after her dog. Awesome citizenship madam, nothing worse than to find dog-doo on one’s lawn or stumble into a pile while looking the other way. A brief shower passed by overnight leaving a sheen to the streets and sidewalks along with a few puddles for me to practice my leaping. To accompany my stroll to work there are the encouraging tunes of songbirds, singing in the new day. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>As I continue on my way I witness the birth of a new day in a fiery display to the east. And so I have another shot at life, the slate is wiped clean and I must open this gift to appreciate all it has to offer… including the joy of friendship, new and old, near and far. So I give thanks for you my new-found friend, and wish you a most excellent gift of a day… may it bring a spark of joy, a ray of hope, and a hint of dreams realized. </div>Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11963603930272249340noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5595211711812770626.post-24171797215566922732011-04-26T07:28:00.000-07:002011-04-26T07:28:06.320-07:00DancingDear reader, <br />
<br />
When you live with someone diagnosed with a terminal illness you will do anything, go anywhere to find a cure, ease the pain, keep that loved one comfortable and with you as long as humanly possible. How about when that terminal illness is incurable, and the march to death's door is a slow, and steady spiral down an unknown and darkened path?<br />
<br />
For me that means doing whatever I can to cling to the hope that I/we can slow the progress and keep a loved one close and cognizant as long as possible. Certainly that means medication, vitamins, but also ... for me, dance and movement. <br />
<br />
Research on neuroscience tells us that movement stimulates neural development and creates unique "motor memories" stored in different areas of the brain compared to other memories. In all the years my love and I have been together we have never been into dancing, of any sort, size, or type. In the times I tried to coax her out on the dance floor it was a struggle, that might end with one quick spin around the boards. Can't blame her as I was born with two left feet, complete lack of rhythm, and a propensity to dance ON the feet of my partner.<br />
<br />
However, something has changed and now my beloved truly enjoys dancing. For me the drive to dance is fueled in part by watching her come alive when we hit the dance floor. She is more alert, more verbal, smiles and laughs, and for those few amazing hours when we let the music carry us away there is a glimpse of my old beloved come back to visit. I know in my heart of hearts this is no cure, and that bastard Alzheimer's will eventually sweep my beloved off the dance floor. However, until he dares to wrest her from my grasp we will dance our way through life... in the living room and the kitchen, down the street and along the riverbanks, and in the gin filled honky tonks and bars of this one horse town... we will dance and swing, jiggle and jive so I can can keep my beloved alive.<br />
<br />
I wrote this poem awhile ago after a particularly poignant dance session with our favorite local band, the Downtown Horns. I share it with you now in the hopes you will enjoy. As always thank you for stopping by and giving me a read.<br />
<br />
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</style> <div class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Dancing</u></b></div><div class="MsoNormal">I’m no Fred Astaire</div><div class="MsoNormal">You’re no Ginger Rogers.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Dancing with the Stars</div><div class="MsoNormal">Would give us a quick boot.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Simply put, I am me and you are you.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Wouldn’t have it any other way.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">For we are not dancing for dollars</div><div class="MsoNormal">Nor seeking international fame </div><div class="MsoNormal">Our prize is much higher than a glittery-ball.</div><div class="MsoNormal">We dance for our lives.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Stumbling across the boards</div><div class="MsoNormal">To wrest the memories</div><div class="MsoNormal">From that bastard…</div><div class="MsoNormal">Alzheimers.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Out on the dance floor,</div><div class="MsoNormal">Among the drunks, the alcohol</div><div class="MsoNormal">The exuberant youth</div><div class="MsoNormal">We clutch to each other</div><div class="MsoNormal">Seeking sanctuary in a quiet corner</div><div class="MsoNormal">Or at the outer edges</div><div class="MsoNormal">Where jitterbugging lovers</div><div class="MsoNormal">Or whirling dervishes</div><div class="MsoNormal">Are less likely to sink our ship.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">No matter the tempo…</div><div class="MsoNormal">Slow and sensual</div><div class="MsoNormal">Rock and roll</div><div class="MsoNormal">Rhythm and blues</div><div class="MsoNormal">You hold on tight</div><div class="MsoNormal">Gazing into my eyes so intensely</div><div class="MsoNormal">My head hurts.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And finally you do it…</div><div class="MsoNormal">Lean forward</div><div class="MsoNormal">To whisper sweetly in my ear,</div><div class="MsoNormal">“I love you Michael.”</div><div class="MsoNormal">Tenuously I reply</div><div class="MsoNormal">Hesitant to break the spell</div><div class="MsoNormal">“I love you too my darling.”</div><div class="MsoNormal">Then… those two words you utter</div><div class="MsoNormal">That send me soaring with the angels</div><div class="MsoNormal">“I know.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11963603930272249340noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5595211711812770626.post-13098458035108894892011-04-25T15:50:00.000-07:002011-04-25T15:52:15.209-07:00<div style="color: #4c1130;"><b><i>Sometimes I can get so frustrated looking for the same things again and again. One night we were up until 1 AM looking for my beloved's lost book. Another night I ended up getting out of bed,dressing in my winter gear, and heading out through the subzero temps to look for her purse that had been lost in the car. I knew it was there, told her repeatedly it was there and would be ok... but seeing and holding the lost item is sometimes the only thing to comfort. Whenever I get frustrated I just have to remember what she has done for ME and I stop my fuming and thank the Creator. Here is a muse I scribbled about this topic.</i></b></div><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><u><b>Lost n Found Hide n Seek Hero </b></u></span><br />
<br />
It’s a game we play quite often<br />
Several times a day<br />
You will hide it<br />
I will seek<br />
You will lose it<br />
So I can find<br />
No item in the house<br />
Is immune from this<br />
Amazing vanishing act<br />
<br />
Your glasses win the prize<br />
For the most trips<br />
Into the Twiight Zone.<br />
They have cooled off<br />
With the frozen yogurt<br />
And ridden on a micro-merry-go round<br />
I’ve found them beneath your pillow<br />
And tucked within a dresser drawer<br />
Wrapped in your underwear<br />
<br />
Then there are your keys<br />
That slip beneath the cushions<br />
Fall into a shoe<br />
Or slip into a potted plant<br />
To take a little nap.<br />
The can opener was not content<br />
To hide in just one place<br />
So it popped into a pan<br />
That slipped into the stove<br />
<br />
Every time I make a find<br />
You cheer me and my success<br />
“Oh thank you, thank you<br />
You’re me hero!”<br />
But it was you who first found me<br />
When I was lost and hidden away<br />
You brought me into the light<br />
And loved me into the living<br />
For you are MY<br />
Lost and found, hide n seek hero.<br />
<br />
MMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11963603930272249340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5595211711812770626.post-56102896561530532552011-04-25T05:03:00.000-07:002011-04-25T15:53:21.042-07:00The RoseMy love enjoys flowers and all things beautiful. I try to bring things home that she will enjoy looking at and will brighten her day. So one day I brought home a single rose...<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"><b><u>The Rose</u></b></div><div class="MsoNormal">Brought you a rose</div><div class="MsoNormal">The other day.</div><div class="MsoNormal">You smiled </div><div class="MsoNormal">And giggled like a schoolgirl.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Stretching out a forefinger</div><div class="MsoNormal">Stroking each velvet petal</div><div class="MsoNormal">Your voice hushed:</div><div class="MsoNormal">“She’s so beautiful.</div><div class="MsoNormal">I will keep her forever.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We secured a vase</div><div class="MsoNormal">Gave her water</div><div class="MsoNormal">Found the just right spot</div><div class="MsoNormal">On the table</div><div class="MsoNormal">Adjacent to your chair</div><div class="MsoNormal">Where you doze the day away</div><div class="MsoNormal">While Ellen dances across the screen</div><div class="MsoNormal">And Oprah fulfills dreams.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Found you weeping today</div><div class="MsoNormal">Eyes red and swollen</div><div class="MsoNormal">Shriveled petals carpeting your palm</div><div class="MsoNormal">“She’s gone!</div><div class="MsoNormal">I couldn’t fix her.”</div><div class="MsoNormal">On the table rests</div><div class="MsoNormal">A tangled mass of tape and petals.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Oh my rose</div><div class="MsoNormal">I see the petals </div><div class="MsoNormal">Of your life</div><div class="MsoNormal">Slowly slip away.</div><div class="MsoNormal">With all the tape and pills and prayers</div><div class="MsoNormal">I can’t fix you</div><div class="MsoNormal">God knows I’ve tried</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Holding each other close</div><div class="MsoNormal">We weep</div><div class="MsoNormal">For the loss </div><div class="MsoNormal">We can not retrieve.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Perhaps next time</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’ll get you a cat.</div><div class="MsoNormal"></div>Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11963603930272249340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5595211711812770626.post-62507849438555437222011-04-24T22:22:00.000-07:002011-04-24T22:22:57.318-07:00Going Going COme Back<style>
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<div class="MsoNormal"><b><u>Going… Going… Come Back</u></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">You are leaving me.</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’ve known it for awhile</div><div class="MsoNormal">But closed my eyes to reality.</div><div class="MsoNormal">But why?</div><div class="MsoNormal">What did I do </div><div class="MsoNormal">To deserve such abandonment?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Don’t you remember all the good times </div><div class="MsoNormal">We stored away? </div><div class="MsoNormal">Like Glacier Park </div><div class="MsoNormal">When we swam in our tent</div><div class="MsoNormal">After three days of rain.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Or wandering the rocky coast of Maine </div><div class="MsoNormal">When I pointed to the surging ocean</div><div class="MsoNormal">To declare: “My love is as vast</div><div class="MsoNormal">And deep as the sea.”</div><div class="MsoNormal">With rolling eyes</div><div class="MsoNormal">A snickering laugh</div><div class="MsoNormal">You hit my arm</div><div class="MsoNormal">“You are SO full of it!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">What about the children</div><div class="MsoNormal">So devastated they rarely call</div><div class="MsoNormal">I was there when your water broke</div><div class="MsoNormal">In the cashier’s line at J.C. Penny.</div><div class="MsoNormal">We drove through the snow</div><div class="MsoNormal">While you counted contractions.</div><div class="MsoNormal">We danced in the moonlight</div><div class="MsoNormal">At our daughter’s wedding.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Can’t you stay a little longer?</div><div class="MsoNormal">Must you run blissfully</div><div class="MsoNormal">Into his clutches</div><div class="MsoNormal">So unaware how he steals</div><div class="MsoNormal">And distorts your most precious memories?</div><div class="MsoNormal">With every breath I take</div><div class="MsoNormal">A curse upon the name</div><div class="MsoNormal">Of the one who drew you away</div><div class="MsoNormal">Only to destroy you in the end.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">You are leaving me</div><div class="MsoNormal">But I love you ever more</div><div class="MsoNormal">And will forever fight</div><div class="MsoNormal">To keep you by my side</div><div class="MsoNormal">And out of the clutches </div><div class="MsoNormal">Of that bastard…</div><div class="MsoNormal">Alzheimer’s.</div>Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11963603930272249340noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5595211711812770626.post-3007686566118239302011-04-24T22:20:00.000-07:002011-04-24T22:20:09.041-07:00Getting StartedSometimes life compels us to act, respond, do something! My beloved is dying of Alzheimer's. She was diagnosed with Early Onset of Alzheimer's when she was only 55 years young. I am younger, still need to work, and have a very intense & demanding job. What to do? Move forward.<br />
<br />
When referring to her husbands battle with Alzheimer's Nancy Reagan labeled it "The Long Goodbye." Not sure is she coined this phrase or borrowed it from another. Either way it fits quite well for me. So I shall aptly name this blog, "The Long Goodbye."<br />
<br />
Much of what I share here will be poetry... for those who dislike this form of expression... oh well, I hope you will bear with me. I am hoping this blog will not only create a release for me but educate others on the bastard we call Alzheimer's. Thank you for reading my blog.Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11963603930272249340noreply@blogger.com2